The Shared Diary of a Novice Paranormal Investigator, aged 52 and Three Quar

When you believe in things you don’t understand, then you suffer.

(Stevie Wonder)

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,

Than are dreamed of in your philosophy.


Ri fol ri fol tol de riddle dee.


Talking Dowsing

‘How many centuries are you living in at the same time?’ demanded CMS, leaning on a fence.  Three days of relentless rain had given way to a heavy, humid afternoon I felt could be classed as ‘good weather’, since there were no gale force winds.  We were wandering out for a leg stretcher.  Taking the path past the overflowing reservoirs, we soon came to a place where two peaty streams hurled themselves down from the hilltops.  As we stood watching tea coloured water sluicing down broken rocks I explained to her how I had spent the last week learning how to program my new iPod and how to dowse with a pendulum.  I felt I had just turned the first corner with both pieces of kit.  Some of my problems magically vanished after I abandoned the first two sets of instructions I had been following in favour of a third set, recommended to me by one of the local dowsers.  This one was working so well for me, I was starting to feel in some kind of control.

The iPod I found delightful.  As a dedicated gym bunny, I have endured the torture of the DVD jukebox.  This perve machine displays on a large screen the front and back bottoms of women gyrating in submissive poses, all backed by depressing music.  Well into my dreary second year of this, I took the plunge into ownership at Tesco’s and never looked back.  Unfortunately, I seem to have set two or three copies of Carole King’s ‘Tapestry’ to repeat at random all the time.  Now that is a fine album, but I do not need to hear it quite so regularly.  Both iPod and pendulum are work in progress.

I take dowsing very slowly.  I move one step forwards, practise for a day or two, put it away for a day or two.  Some of this is because I wait for those rare moments when the house is quiet and I do not have more pressing work, but some of it is my reluctance to push forwards in case it stops working for me.  Every day I delay making progress is another day when I can tell myself it is working so far.  Studying dowsing is like exploring the twists and turns of your own will.  Talking to CMS always helps.  I return home feeling purposeful.  If the thing stops working, then it stops working. 

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